August 10th 2007 I began a journey that taught me patience, long suffering, joy and self confidence.
To set the record straight I never began this journey because of some spiritual connection or the need to get back to my roots. I wanted to loc my hair simply because it was the one hair style I never tried. I had a jheri curl (didn't end well) when I was young. Then I had a perm which also didn't end well. So my mom decided to hip me to the press and curl. I kept that until my junior year of high school. Looking back on it I rocked the natural for a long time! Junior year I was tired of it and decided to give the perm another try (this time professionally). Lo and behold I was in hair heaven. No breakage. No getting my ear burned with a hot comb. The creamy crack had taken over. I maintained that for 8 years. Frying dying and blow drying.
Yes I even colored my hair but don't get it twisted I was never pink, purple, orange or blue. *Ladies stop with the colored tracks. If you can not grow that color out of your scalp please don't put it in your head. The female rappers/singers you see with it get paid to look that way. You doing it for free and people may tell you its cute but let me say this.
There is nothing cute about it. You look ghetto and if you want any semblance of a real job take that stuff OUT.* Okay back to me, I just had to get that out.
When I made the decision to loc my hair everyone thought I was crazy. I heard many reasons why I shouldn't get it done but generally if I want something I go get it. The day I began this journey I was slated to go to a birthday party that evening. So no one knew I was getting it done except 2 or 3 folks. Imagine the surprise when I showed up at home with these little coils in my hair when just a few weeks prior I had this long ponytail(fake) and Hollywood hump hair style that I rocked for my BFF's wedding.
I was super cute that day!
Once I made it home that day my new hair was received with mixed reviews but I had already committed to doing this so no one was going to change my mind. I'll save you all the long draw out details of my first year but I will highlight a few points. After about 2 months I was already having issues with the "ugly" phase which by the way lasted me 8-9 months in my opinion. I think that this where I learned the most about myself though. I was also thankful that the work environment I was in was very supportive of me having locs because that helped me out a lot. I know that for some folks especially those in the corporate world it might not have been so supportive. After I hit that year mark I was pretty happy with the process. There was something that did sneak up on me after that year and that was a life lesson. I had learn what it really means to go after what you want no matter how many people you have behind you. Around the year and a half mark I was riding high feeling good and loving my locs. I generally don't like to keep hairstyles for to long so it was around that 2 year mark I began thinking about cutting it. At this point I was doing my own hair which most folks know I don't like to do. Don't get me wrong I always hooked it up but it was not something I enjoyed doing. Year 2 was pretty good I was rocking a ponytail which was nice.
Another thing I remember in year 2 was my patience was increasing and not just with my hair but with people. I began looking at this loc process as more than just a hairstyle. My locs began to have meaning. I took more pride in being a Black woman. I paid more attention to the tresses of others. I was proud to be rocking locs and I didn't care who didn't like them. Year 3 I had a serious moment of letting them go because I felt I needed to change things up. I took a good 2 weeks to decide what I really wanted to do. Ultimately I decided to keep them. Year 3 was kind of rough and I had many days when I felt the scissors would win the hair battle. I began picturing myself without. I started getting use to the idea of a drastic change. Funny thing is I have tried everything I wanted with my hair and I didn't know what I would do with my hair once I cut them out. Rock a afro again? Rock the short cut? Rock a perm again? So many questions but no answers. I didn't know which direction to take. One day I took a long hard look at my life from the moment when I started locing my hair. What I realized was the person I was when I started no longer existed. So my decision for change was not hard. All I had to do now was make it to the year 4 mark. I'm sure most people wouldn't care to wait but I am big with numbers and I like to be very purposeful in the things I do. Once I made it to year 4 I knew I would make the change. My mind is made up despite the sudden pain in stomach when I think about it. I know it is just nerves and not second thoughts. The Tonette that I have now become is much more confident, mature and self assured. I embrace this change and I look forward to the next journey that I begin with my hair.
It is 8-20-11 9:42am and I am sitting in the car about to go into the hair salon. My stomach is in knots and I am afraid if she asks me if I am sure I want it cut I will chicken out. I don't know why I am feeling like this considering I have rocked short hair before. I guess it is simply just the fact that this time I am going from LONG HAIR to super SHORT HAIR. Well I am walking in now and this is how long my hair is.
The Big Chop happened. It is 10:36am and I have no hair. Well I have hair but it is a very small amount.
She asked me if I was sure I simply replied "let's not talk about it, just cut it." And when she took that first cut I felt a twinge of pain. I have been growing those locs for 4 years not including the 3 years prior to getting them. Now it is all wiped away. I didn't cry unlike what I thought I would and that pain that was in my stomach is gone. Sitting under the dryer my head feels lighter and my body is more relaxed. Wow I really just got my hair cut. You should have seen it. Locs were falling all around me as she feverishly cut about 80-90 locs from my head. At this point I am okay with my decision.
11:20am I walked out the shop newly bald and I must say, I don't hate it. As I drove away I realized something. I can't put my hair in a ponytail no more.
Let me be the first to say hello to the new Tonette.
